Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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