I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
