i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
