yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
