I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
