i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
