she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
