a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
