I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize