9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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