Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
