And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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