I want to stick my p in your. b.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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