i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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