Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
