Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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