Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
