Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
