and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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