Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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