and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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