Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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