dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize