If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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