so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
