One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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