no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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