I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
