I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
