I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
