I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
