I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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