Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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