whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
