I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Dual....:-)
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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