why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Randomize
