Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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