Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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