We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
