____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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