yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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