I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Randomize
