Need sex. Gaining weight.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
