i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
