She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
