I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
