If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
