They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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