We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
