please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize