how can u be prego again
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
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