HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
