i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
