So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
