grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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