her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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