I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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