plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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