Don't worry. I has chaperone.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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