We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
