5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
do herpes really smell.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
