this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
