I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
