I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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