id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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